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25 Things I know now as a parent

>> Thursday, July 15, 2010


I am learning as I go. I make mistakes along the way. Some of the things I just learned last weekend during my trip to Houston, and I am so glad I did. Now I know.
I happened to visit Mama-Om blog page (story will follow) where she posted her "25 things" list. Stacy (Mama-Om)  invited parents to make their list. 
She read the idea on Supersisters
Here are 25 things that I thought of first:
1. Love comes first, love is everything
2. Listen to my kid more, talk less, he is about to tell me what is going on
3. Toddlers  can think , it is OK to use "big words"
4. It feels good and it is OK to say YES!
5. Listen to my kid in FULL attention 
6.  My intuition is the right answer. 
7. He always need me, no matter what, especially at bed time. 
8. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. It's never enough.
9. Be present, be there, any time, every time. When I am tired that's when he needs me the most.
10. When life is sad, and an adult burden lays on the shoulders of my toddler, do what it takes to lift it. I can "take it for two". 
11. Sometimes my kid can go to bed without brushing his teeth and taking a bath.  We will brush teeth in the morning (unless he ate too much candy). Exceptions to the rules are nice breaks and special moments. 
12. I have to forgive myself for making mistakes.
13. When my son questions why his dad is not with us, I give him love and reassurance. Teach my boy to love his dad no matter what. My kid deserves to have a dad he loves.
14. It's OK for my boy to be shy. It's OK for my boy not to want meat.
15. Always forgive.
16. Set a good example. It is more important than words.
17. My son is not me. He is not here to fulfill my dreams and live the life I want him to. He is his own person, and all he needs is my guidance and love.
18. Watching TV is OK. Playing puzzles is OK. Picnic on the towel on the floor is OK. Ice cream is tasty. We both love outdoors, museums, road trips and more. 
19. Read, read and read. Read books. Book stores are amazing.
20. Teach my kid how to keep friends early.
21. Structured schedule is not my cup of tea. We both don't like it.
22. Cooking is what we both do best, especially if things are hard.

23. Laugh, laugh a lot and be happy.
24. Grandparents are priceless. 

25. I have to commit to my own personal growth and well-being. It reassures my son and creates a safe space for him to tackle his own challenges, without being worried about me. I have to be happy to make him happy. (in parts are not my words, but I could not say it better). (Supersisters).

10 comments:

Stacy (Mama-Om) July 15, 2010 at 7:14 PM  

What a wonderful list! I especially like 11 and 18 -- yay for flexibility and fun!! :)

I wanted to answer your question about using blog tools (that you left on my blog)... You can email me at mamaomblog at gmail dot com with your specific questions and I'll see what I can do. But the short answer is that I probably learned some things from the time I worked at a software company... and then I just stumbled along and figured it out as I went. If you have any specific questions, let me know! There are blogger tools out there to do certain things.

Take care,
Stacy

АLEKSANDRA MOREL July 16, 2010 at 2:40 AM  

Thank you Stacy. In my house it is all about flexibility and fun. I am learning to balance fun and discipline. Even though I had couple of rough days I am doing great again!

The Other Laura July 16, 2010 at 9:04 AM  

What a lovely list. Enjoy your summer!

Nadia Yeremenko July 16, 2010 at 2:38 PM  

Интересненько ! Честно !

Irina July 17, 2010 at 8:41 AM  

wow... the list is awesome.. I agree with all, and, have to admit that I have to work more on #5 and #17...

АLEKSANDRA MOREL July 17, 2010 at 1:33 PM  

Irina, I work hard on many of the things listed. Laughing doesn't always come easy. I can't tell you how many times I held tears to laugh. Being Russians we love to have goals set for our kids and high expectations. I am already working on letting S. be him. On the top of things, I don't have another adult in the house to balance things or to gently stop me. It is important. In the families with two parents one parent can afford to get out of line a little because another parent corrects. I got friends, books and my family. I am learning every day. I am growing with my baby. I could not do many things has it not been for S. He brings out the best in me, and it all that matters.

АLEKSANDRA MOREL July 17, 2010 at 1:33 PM  

Laura, thank you for vising my page.

Irina July 17, 2010 at 9:22 PM  

The list has a lot of things that I need to work on, but the 2 I mentioned before are the ones that I know for sure needs to be worked on :) M. doesn't correct me at all, but when i correct him, it is always after the fact, so the kids wont see it or hear it... but it is hard for the families with both parents, and i can't imagine how much harder it is for a one parent families...

Olga July 21, 2010 at 1:34 PM  

I hate graters. I always manage to stick my fingers in it and make them bleed. I am a clutz after all!

АLEKSANDRA July 21, 2010 at 7:57 PM  

Olga, we can always ask S to grate your food :)

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Here you can find recipes that we have made at home. Most of the recipes did not originate in my head, many have been slightly changed. I post the source when I know it.

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